to be a light in a dark world

Once upon a time, I had a lot of faith.

I’ve seen people get angry, depressed, and above all, confused when this happens. In fact, I think those are the three most common results. I didn’t get mad-there was nothing to be angry about; if anything, I could have gotten mad at myself but that would be useless. I didn’t get depressed-I can’t be down about something I don’t quite have in the first place, correct? And I definitely was never confused-I know right from wrong, and everything I used to consider black and white I still leave in the “valid beliefs” section of my head. My mind hasn’t changed, my opinions haven’t changed, what I learned from my “relationship” with God growing up never changed. That moral compass never changed, that knowledge that there was only “one way” to live never changed, and basically, everything I had set in stone when I was I don’t know, 15 years old never altered.

I’ve heard stories of people changing their minds to fit the kind of lifestyles they’d rather live, to pick the easy way and telling themselves “I can still maintain both sides of the Christian and not… as Christian spectrum.” That wasn’t me. I was never going to change my mind. Forgive me, but I consider that utter and complete doggy poo. If I’m wrong for whatever I say and do, then I’m wrong. I know that, and if it pisses God off, then I deserve his anger. People have said that growing up is inevitable and losing that kind of whole faith I once possessed is probably part of the package.

Again, utter doggy poo. I don’t believe this for a second, because I have met plenty of mentors along the way who have taught me that the idea that this entire theory is not biblically sound. Thank you, modern day godless society, for the idea that people must succumb to other standards to “grow up” and “live.” I don’t think it’s okay for ANYONE to say, “As long as it doesn’t hurt anyone else then it’s acceptable.” Just because it’s “acceptable” doesn’t mean its right. And just because you can, doesn’t necessarily mean you should.

Maybe my actions changed, maybe I forced myself to alter my presentation of how I acted or lived to fit the situations around me, but as crazy and ego-centric as this sounds, I know I had it figured out. How often do you hear someone, years down the line, say “Right now, I’ve got it all wrong, I had it right back then” in contrast to “I was wrong then, but I’ve got it down now.” Not very. Because I didn’t become angry, depressed, or confused. I became ignorant and apathetic. For years, I thought “At any point in time, I can stop this type of thinking and get back to the person I used to be. At any time I wish, I can say ‘Hey Jesus, I’m back!’ and bam, faith restored. I can be that… but right now just isn’t convenient form me.” In case this hasn’t happened to you, I’ll let you know right now that it doesn’t always work that way.

Basically… it’s not good to force yourself to live in shades of grey when your belief system is grounded into a vision of black and white. No, I do not care what other people have to say to you about it. You are not doing yourselves any favors by letting anybody else change your mind. No friendship, family member, role model, relationship, or peer is worth going back on what you know in your heart to be the truth your faith instills.

I learned that there’s no need to pretend to accept things that I disagree with just because I’m afraid of making someone else mad. There’s no use in letting any other exterior influence readjust who I am on the inside because I’m on a completely different plane. Nothing in this world is worth losing the core of the person you are just so you can please anybody other than Jesus Christ. Nothing. You and me were not born to compromise, not made to bow beneath the pressure to become less like ourselves and more like the rendition of what is not “right” or “okay” and “acceptable”; and whoever tells you otherwise is honestly a liar.

Posted 3 months ago with 3 notes
© alovefromabove

#christianity #faith #religion #beliefs #morals #2012 lessons